I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
