Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
