So drunk its hurt
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
