we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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