Quick, to the slutcave!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
