anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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