I must be too annoying 4 u.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
