Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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