I'm jealous of your bromance
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
