It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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