He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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