Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
