just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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