so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
