i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
