I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
