I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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