this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
