i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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