I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
