I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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