i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
