I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
