you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
