She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
