so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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