carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
