Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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