he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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