Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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