She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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