It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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