someone threw a dead crab at me
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
