i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
