He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
