You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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