That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
