i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
