and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
