Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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