the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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