i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
