I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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