Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
