xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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