Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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