Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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