Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
