Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
