Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
