Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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